Title: Failure All Around
Pairing: Sanji --> oblivious!Zoro
Warning: Crack. Possible OOC.
Word count: 212
Notes: I read a similar scenario somewhere before, but for the life of I can't remember where. I have a weird sense of humor (I'll seriously laugh at ANYTHING), so I think it's hilarious.
Sanji had had enough. His obvious attempts to seduce the marimo had gotten nowhere, and he was beginning to get frustrated with the bastard. Repeated attempts to be alone with him, wearing nothing but his apron, spewing innuendo's left and right, and giving him sultry looks at the dinner table had resulted in absolutely nothing. Winking got him an annoyed, "Is there something in your eye, asshole?" It was beyond annoying, it went straight into unbelievability. But the cook wouldn't give up! He wanted Zoro underneath him, begging for it.
No matter what it took, he'd get through to that thick-skull and finally have some fucking sex.
There's no way to mistake this, Sanji thought confidently. He was laying naked on his back in Zoro's bed, sprawled out comfortably. His pale skin was a nice contrast the the blanket he'd spread over the bed. A few candles were lit, and the other crew members were occupied. All that was needed now was for the marimo to show up...
Sanji looked up eagerly as the door opened, and gave his best sexy smile.
"Take me Zoro...take me!" He moaned. "Take me right now!"
Zoro's brow furrowed. "Take you where?" A pause. "You aren't dressed for travel."
Sanji kicked the idiot in the head and resolved to try again tomorrow.
I used to have this cousin that would attempt to wink, but it looked more like something was seriously wrong with his eye when he tried. He was the basis for Sanji's horrible attempt at winking.
On another note, I discovered that an author of a book series I really love has an LJ, AND that she wrote a short piece set in the series I like. The words "woo" and "hoo" cannot contain my fangirl happiness :)