September 1st, 2016

♪ there ain't no easy way out

What the hell

Monday was my first day of class. A guy sits next to me, very nice, we start chatting a bit. He asks to be facebook friends - I never get on facebook, but I figure this is a good way to exchange notes or something if one of us misses class. Wednesday, he sits next to me again. We talk a bit more, he’s nice, and he starts talking about hanging out when we’re not in class. I don’t have a lot of free time, but I hesitantly agree. We exchange skype names.

Suddenly he’s talking about going out? On dates. Like, what is my favorite thing to do on a date, am I really cuddly, what kind of things should we do on a date. And I’m just like ????? When did dating come into this??? I’ve seen you in person twice, for 2 hours each (4 hours total). How…when did I give you any sign that I am romantically interested? So I told him that I’d rather we get to know each other first before we do any dating.

He texted me today at work, but I was too busy to respond. I get on skype tonight and he’s all, “I don’t think a relationship can work out between us and I only see us as friends getting to know each other. I kept thinking all day about this. I need to be touched, talked to everyday, kissed, cuddled, etc. I’m very touchy feely, sorta sexual. And you not being a affectionate or touchy person just made me think. :(”

I mean, on the one hand I’m relieved. Thank god I got out of that pretty quick. On the other hand, who the fuck are you to tell me I’m not affectionate? I’ll concede I’m not a touchy person - I’m too self-conscious and shy to feel comfortable hugging people, because all I worry about is if I smell bad, how long should the hug last for, how tight do I squeeze - at least until I get to know them. But I barely know you, and you think you can judge how affectionate I am? Fuck you, I am super affectionate. I love my friends. Granted, most aren't physically present, but I'll write them fic or make gifs or send them links to things I think they'll enjoy, and I do all of it because I want to make them smile or laugh, or somehow brighten their day.