02. The Spirit and the Letter by lightgetsin
Fandom: Dresden Files (Book 'Verse)
"Oh," Bob said, rolling his eyelights. "Jeez, Dresden, what's your problem? So you have tits for four days. Suck it up and be a man. You might even enjoy it," he added, somehow managing to leer with his voice.
I folded my arms. "I don't know if I can." Everything still hurt, reverberating with the aftershocks of the transformation spell. And my nerves were already shot after just an hour. The sense of being on the brink was overpowering. I was afraid every time I opened my mouth that I might start shrieking and not stop.
"Look, I really think it's a bad idea," Bob said. "And do you want to go pissing her off even more?"
Okay, that was actually a good point. I slumped forward, then sat up fast when . . . things shifted and jiggled. "Okay," I said, trying to talk myself down. "It's okay. I can just – I can – okay, no. Maybe I'll just take sleeping potions for the next four days."
"You can't," Bob said helpfully. "You have to go to that negotiation thing day after tomorrow."
I smacked my forehead. It's a sad state of affairs when your talking skull becomes your social secretary. The signatories to the Unseelie Accords were conferencing, and I had to show up and be decorative. Hell's bells, everyone would be there.
"Hey, I just realized!" Bob said. "You're like a country song: you lost your house, you lost your car, you lost your job, and now you've lost your dick!"