popkin16 (popkin16) wrote,

Lantean Mourning Lanterns

I had this idea a long time ago that once a year, everyone on Atlantis gathers on the piers, paper lanterns in hand. They pass around a thick black marker, carefully writing the names of all the lost on them, one name per lantern. Then they light them and let them float up and out over the water. Nobody really talks, just the sound of water lapping against the edge of the city. And as the lanterns get smaller and smaller, people start to drift back inside, until the lanterns are completely out of sight and the pier is once again empty.

I may have posted about this before, but I was sharing the idea with kidenagain, and we got to talking, and other ideas came up...

(long post is long)

(made by beckersher)

Kiden said, someday, rodney's name is going on one of those lanterns, and john just can't take it. He's like, nope, not this year, you can take this ceremony and shove it directly up your ass I want nothing to do with it. Once rodney's name is up there he'll have to admit that he's not coming back and john has no intention of doing that, maybe ever.  so while everyone else is doing the lantern thing he takes out a puddlejumper but he can still see them flying and drifting...

And because we are friends and like to hurt one another with these ideas, I thought: Last Man AU.

Where Rodney waits and waits and puts off even thinking about John's name going on one of those lanterns, he's not dead, he's just missing. Rodney finally gives in just before returning to Earth with Keller. But this year's lantern ceremony is still months away, so Rodney goes down to the pier and sends up just one paper lantern, by himself. The last of AR1.

Kiden added: after old rodney gets back from carrying out his plan to save john he finally realizes he's never going to know if it worked - he'd been so busy he never really considered it. he sends out three paper lanterns every year after that and writes little messages in them but no names. johns message only ever says the same thing and it's i love you i'm coming to get you.

Then, as a final bit of pain, I said: The last Lantean Mourning Ceremony he goes to, Rodney sends up Ronon and Teyla's lanterns. Rodney insists he do it, won't let any else. And he carefully, with as steady a hand as he can through the tears blurring his vision, writes Ronon and Teyla's names. In their native languages.

Of course, after all this we needed some cheering up (there may have been some crying after the last bit). Keeping with the Last Man theme, I said, well, what about the Rodney whose John *does* come home? That Rodney is waiting and refusing to believe John is lost, and then he comes through the gate from 48,000 years in the future, dirty and frantic but so alive.

Kiden mentioned then, because she hadn't hurt me enough earlier: john is thrown into the future and finds out everyone he loves is dead but hey, rodney spent 25 years of his life inventing new math and doing all this crazy shit just to bring john home because john can save everyone and oh god. so then john gets back, and about lets say 15 hours later... john thinks he knows rodney is dead. that's literally what they did to us. john is lying under rubble and injured and didn't save teyla and rodney wasted his entire life to save him, only to die, and now john think he's going to die too and ronon and teyla.

Which made me think of that scene where John learns Rodney is still alive.

And suddenly John knows he can save everyone, save his team.

(Just going to copy and paste the rest of our skype conversation)

Popkin16: oh oh and after it's all over john follows rodney back to his room and back him up against a wall and just presses his body against rodney's, buries his face in rodney's neck
kidenagain: yep and can't do much else because ~ow but he can touch this rodney?  no hologram
kidenagain: just rodney
kidenagain: no mr. rogers sweater
Popkin16: and rodney is a bit panicky because oh my god sheppard is, is touching him, with the body and the face in his neck, and it's not a headslap or an arm punch
Popkin16: but rodney just got john back too
Popkin16: and probably didn't have a lot of time to really take that in
kidenagain: hahaha
kidenagain: no
kidenagain: nerp
Popkin16: so he clutches john's clothes, almost desperately, and his breathing might be a little harsh, like he's holding back relieved tears, but john won't say anything. they're good
Popkin16: everyone's good.
kidenagain: no but rodney's hands eventually move to his shoulder, carefully, and the back of his neck, carefully, because john is a wreck and all banged up.  and rodney is just it's fine, it's fine, it's okay babbling because wow who's ever even seen sheppard like this, exactly zero people
kidenagain: and it's making him feel frantic
kidenagain: and john kind of huffs out a little sigh and lets rodney back him up towards the bed because he's just so ~tired, like more tired than he can ever remember being, and why is rodney not lying down with him that doesn't make any sense at all, doesn't he realize?
kidenagain: so he kind of tugs mckay into the bed too and rodney is just wow lying there next to him because seriously, so many injuries.
kidenagain: and john is kind of doped up because ow pain
kidenagain: and he says thank you?
kidenagain: and rodney is like i have no idea what you are thanking me for tbh
kidenagain: and john is like for not giving up on me and rodney is still like?? okay.  you're welcome?
kidenagain: and john is like rodney you still had your hair and falls asleep like a big doped up baby
kidenagain: the end
kidenagain: I'm very upset now haha
kidenagain: ITS NOT OK
Popkin16: all curled up together on the bed, fully clothed
kidenagain: yes good and it's really slow going after that becuse wow Carson is back? sorta? and they have to find Teyla still?? there's just no time to figure out what's happening, it's totally backburnered.  but some nights they just fall into bed together and sleep and don't talk about it
kidenagain: but after everything settles oh man
kidenagain: rodney is a little concerned it was just an in desperate times thing even tho he should know better he still worried
kidenagain: and one day john comes into the lab like hey can you come help me with something real quick? and rodney is like uhh okay and then as soon as they are in John's room he's all grabby hands and pushing rodney against the wall and oh I didn't know you were that strong wow just going to haul me onto the bed ok
Popkin16: rodney finds it so hot
kidenagain: yes he does
kidenagain: because it is hot

(the end for real)
Tags: sga
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